Riis signs new GC rider for Saxo Bank in wake of Contador ban

At the Contador press conference Bjarne Riis said, "When Alberto is not able to ... ride for the team, the contract cannot continue. I think that's pretty obvious," Riis said at a press conference in Madrid. Later, he added that he would be happy to work with again Contador in the future.

2 hours after the press conference, Riis announced he has signed a new rider to fill the Team Leader spot left by Contador.  Riis said "The rider is known as El Magnifico Pistolero and hails from Spain....urrr I mean, Parts Unknown."  He also added, "He wears a mask due to a sun allergy like the one that affects David Millar" 

The soon to be named winner of the 2010 Tour de France (and Contador BFF) Andy Schleck was asked about Saxo Bank's new rider, he responded "He seems like a good guy, I like his mask. Perhaps, we can swim with dolphins together sometime to bond."

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A year without Pistolero part DOS ?

With headlines everyday about Alberto Contador and his possible suspension, I have started to ponder a year or two without the Pistolero.  We did the same type of pondering last year, and some of the predictions about his riding proved to be true. The year of the Pistolero or Not?

As I have admitted in previous blogs, I have had a like him/ hate him sports fan perspective on Conta.  With Chain Gate, my initial reaction was that it was Bush league and had no place in the top level of the sport.

At the time I thought Chain Gate was a horrible display, and I was rooting for the lanky one to take back the time on Conta. Then the TDF played out and Andy's SCHLECKnd attitude brought me full circle with the Spaniard.  Sometimes sports force you to root for one athlete over the other - Bird or Magic, Brady or Manning, Lance or Jan.  Conta vs Andy.... it's very easy for me to pull for the guy that WANTS it and shows he knows how to finish.  In truth, Andy Schleck got me back on the Contador bandwagon with being a bit on the SOFT side. With time to think about it, many of us would have done the same thing as Alberto.  We are human and flawed....many of us are a bit more Conta down deep than Andy.  Whether we like to admit it or not, our inner "black hat" is a bit more likely to come out than our "white"one.

The Schlecks are a bit on the soft side (Marshmallow Peeps kinda soft)  when it comes to having a killer instinct

As most of us do, I think a lot while out riding.  With some time to reflect on Contador's 2011 season, I realized/remembered a few things.

*Dramatic story of a near death experience, to Grand Tour winner (As fans, we like those stories... especially in A-Merika!)
* Regardless of the help needed (Rasmussen ejection) or how close some of the victories were, he has won 5 GRAND TOURS... All 3 Grand Tours not just 1 of them multiple times. Really let that one sink in! That is the combined GC wins of Ivan Basso & Denis Menchov.

* He and his team got screwed out of the TDF in 08 (Anti-Astana/ Anti-Johan/Lance or whatever the reason) Without him we had the MOST forgettable Tour in....um.... a long.... LONG TIME! Who won that again?!? Carlos...zzzzzz

* I thought the cobbles at the 2010 edition of the Tour would end him, instead he did a very solid job with  them and went on to another win!  He wanted no part of riding that type of race, but he prepared and used it to gain some time instead of lose time.

* He is damn good for TV viewing!  As a sports fan, there are athletes you love & ones you love to hate.  Either way, you tune in to watch them.  He is one of those guys & I think the sport needs him for engagement sake.  Overall,  he is more like Lance than most US fans might realize and that means he is one to watch (to root for or against).  He has a wicked desire to win, he is a smart athlete that knows how to seize the moment even if it might require damage control later. He would rather be off the podium if he isn't on the top step.  He is egocentric, he is not a nice guy on the bike, and he will do whatever it takes. Yep, Lance was all of those things as well....and as I have stated many times I liked every bit it from LA (No Gifts, The Look,  Simeoni gate)!

I will say this and own it: Doped or not guilty, I hope he is riding in top form next year!  I want to watch Conta vs Cadel vs Schleck vs Wiggo at the TDF!


If Conta is 2nd TDF winner stripped in the last 5 years that means, This is now the 2nd times in the last 100 years!  Does this mean that cycling is closing the gap on the dopers, or are they throwing out a sacrificial lamb?  As Floyd Landis explained in our Twitter exchanges earlier this year, Alberto is not the most likable and is a big name, so a good target.  He lacks the "cancer shield" Lance carried so he is fair game.  Would it make the sport any cleaner?  Would it really make any rider pause and not take drugs?  Did the Festina affair or Op Puerto really do that?

I know what some of you are asking "Don't I want a clean sport?" I do! But I am also an optimistic realist, I know that there are 70 year old Masters racers doping and the French Cat 3 kid that was positive for 12 different drugs.  It has been part of the sport since 1900 will always be there. I do want a clearer sport, but I know it will never be squeaky clean and 100% "Pure". No twibbon band is going to change someone's mind that is that close to their dreams & financial security.

Honestly who are we to judge one rider against another?  Contador's winning margins are less that past Grand Tour winners like Lance, Basso, Merckx, etc.  So is that some kind of proof that he is clean or pretty clean? Our current favorite riders can all be tied directly or by 1 degree to a doping team, teammate, Dr. or director.  For example: Cadel Evans (time with T-Mobile 03-04), Andy Schleck (Riding for Riis & his brothers payments to Fuentez, etc), Cav having a missed test in 2011.

Either way I am looking forward to the 2012 season!  I am just rooting for a season with a certain Spaniard racing it!


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Contador and the #TDF. We have a few questions?

How is Contador able to ride in the #TDF?  Do we blame Spain?  Do we blame the UCI and their system? Has the CAS been dragging it's feet?  

Umm...this might be part of the problem!

I think this is a legit question?


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Pro Cycling Wiki Leak: Pat McQuaid UCI "Gangsta"

McQuaid is seen here throwing up his set prior to a press conference.

As my very Southern wife might say, “Has he lost his damn mind?” Many would argue based on recent events that he has.  As you might remember we have random fans with mustaches in various places throughout the world.  (This is how we got the Hotel Memo from Leopard Trek.)  We were contacted again by a friend/fan of our tees in Europe.  He wanted to make a trade.  We was willing to give us the inside scoop on Pat McQuaid’s recent stay at his hotel in exchange for 2 of our tees, a tube of DZ Nuts and Bay Watch season 2 DVD set (Lots of Hof fans in the EU).  Of course, we went for that deal and this is the info we got from him.* 

McQuaid and his posse checked in and immediately ordered room service (filets, lobster, and several bottles of Hennessy and Crystal champagne).  The room service attendant said that when he arrived he saw the whole group was smoking what they refereed to as  “blunts” and watching a movie he later found out to be Menace to Society.  He overheard McQuaid speaking in an odd Irish/American Street dialect and called the cyclists and directors names like “bustas” and “punkass biaches”.  

It does appear that McQuaid is going “gansta” with his recent moves like his Open letter and using his muscle to get the riders to stand down and not protest during E3 Prijs Vlaanderen.  McQuaid had a meeting with Gianni Bugno where our man at the hotel said there were loud noises and the sound of breaking glass coming from the room. The hotel bellman claims he saw someone being held off the balcony by their feet, but this could not be confirmed. Bugno left in a hurry wearing sunglasses and sobbing. Bugno then released this as part of his statement "Promise to ask the racers to suspend the action planned for March 26th provided that you give us a sign of genuine dialogue." 

Later during his stay, while in the jacuzzi with 2 of his crew and 6 ladies, McQuaid was overheard saying, “I’m gonna make those Frenchies at the ASO deal with that little punk Conta at the Tour again.” He laughed loudly and finished with, “Im gonna wait until the last minute to file the appeal with the CAS...ya hear me?”  

His crew then all said things to the effect of “You the man Pat!”,“True Dat!”, “For real son! Pat’s runnin’ cycling!”

It appears that “OG” Pat McQuaid is rollin like Suge Knight so the riders and directors should tread lightly.  He appears to have a crew, the roads are open and the teams won’t have radios.  Bike jackings and driveby’s could happen at any upcoming race. 

*The recount by our European man on the scene, is of course all alleged

 and we do not have verification these events happened as he reported them. Our shirts are pretty sweet and so we have to hope that bought us a legit report of recent events.

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Pro Cycling 2011- Checking in before our favorite races

As the Ronde (our favorite) and Roubaix (close 2nd) approach us like Spartacus on the attack, we wanted to recap recent races and happenings in Pro Cycling.

The most amazing cycling pic of the year so far, is actually not an action shot. This picture of Japanese champion Tikashi Miyazawa is simply amazing.  The picture says so much about what is going on in Japan. Tikashi is also taking part in an auction to help raise money for relief efforts in Japan. http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/milan-san-remo-peloton-to-aid-japan-relief-efforts

Matthew Goss has quickly become one of our favorite riders!  One week he is right at the front protecting Tony Martin in the horrible weather at Paris Nice, then a week later he is winning la Primavera.  It takes a very unique rider to be able to make it over the climbs and still be in the front to sprint for a win.  HTC seems like they are far and away the best team so far this year.  Bob Stapleton now has his Cav. replacement, if he ever decides the Missle needs to shoot off to Team Sky.  We do believe that Cav and Renshaw are faster than Goss, but we know he can be there at the end of races when they can't. We would pick Goss as one of our riders to build around if we could start a team tomorrow. If he decides that he wants to win Liege, The Ronde or another race with a challenging course, he can and will do so.  We would love to see Fabian vs Goss vs Boonen in the final K of the Ronde!  If you're near the HTC team vehicle and want to locate Matt Goss's bike, just look for the one that says Bad Mutha F@$%*& on it!

Thomas de Gent was fun to watch at Paris Nice!  He was fighting to keep his jersey and making some very cheeky moves to pick up a few seconds.  We are very glad that he gave his team something to cheer about in the middle of "Cobra gate part deux"


Still shocked by the lack of wins by LEOPARD TREK (capitalized, per their memo) they have been up there with Fabian at San Remo etc...but Eurocar has more meaningful wins so far.  Is this team the Miami Heat of Pro Cycling? If we reach the middle of April with no big wins...it's time to get worried!

Pat McQuaid (the Charlie Sheen of cycling) having the stones/lack of common sense to mess with Jens?  Really? This is hands down the WTF moment of the year so far for us.  Have you ever met anyone in or around cycling that doesn't like and RESPECT Jens Voigt? Yeah, neither have we!  For McQuaid to take shots at a figure like Jens in his "open letter" was another sign he is losing control of the sport. The fight over radio bans and new cycling leagues being plotted have to be keeping McQuaid up at night.

Just when we were sure the Giro Prolight helmet was our pick for Fugliest helmet in the peloton we have a new contender. Orbea has a new line of helmets with that "I come in peace" alien look to them. Not a fan of most things Spanish and we can add these to the list!

"My name is Gorka and I come in peace."

Thanks for reading! We are looking forward to the next few weeks and all the racing over bergs and cobbles! We expect much more Pat McQuaid wacked out rants as well!

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Pro Cycling 2011- What were watching part duex

We know it's still early on in the season, but we figured we would give our take on the racing so far and a few predictions.


Off the front-

HTC High Road: They just win races!  Tony Martin and Matthew Goss have both racked up some nice wins so far in 2011. Tejay van Garderen is showing again that he is a VERY talented rider.  He is continuing to grow and develop and we can see a Grand Tour podium in his future.

Rabobank:  Some might have questioned letting a multiple Grand Tour winner go, but Rabobank didn't blink.  They have Robert Gesink as their GC contender and even Eddie Merckx tips him as a possible Tour winner. The early season form of Theo Bos and Lars Boom make it appear that they made some very good investments.

Spain: Gotta give it to 'em they know how to keep their "star" racers racing.  Conta gets the all clear from his home country and has already made the podium in one of his first races. What happens with the CAS time will tell, but he can now always claim he was cleared in his home country.

Jens Voigt and those in favor of race radio:  Jens mentioned an incident from a U23 race last year as an example of why Race Radio is needed in his "Open Letter" ( featured on CycleSport's website) .  Then this week as if on cue, an ambulance headed the wrong way toward the field in a race. Here is the excerpt from Jens Voigt's "Open Letter":


"Last year in an U23 race in France a spectator ignored all regulations and entered the parcours in the opposite direction of the race. What normally happens is this: the race director puts that news on ‘radio course’, the official communication channel between the race organizer, the UCI and the sports directors. Immediately, all sports directors spread the message amongst their riders over the radio to prevent a potential fatal accident. Now, in that French race there were no radios, which is the case in all U23 races. Try to put yourself into the position of any sports director, that knows there is a car riding towards the bunch. He’s not allowed to drive to his riders and warn them. All he can do is sit and wait. And maybe think about what he can tell the parents of one of his riders if he got hit by the car. Because this is what happened: the car hit a young Dutch rider, who was in a coma for three weeks. Everybody present in that race agreed that the accident could have been prevented if the riders had been wearing radios" 


If nothing else, the riders should get a broadcast from the race officials so they can be made aware of dangers ahead.  They should also allow team cars a 2 way radio to race officials, so they can communicate any issues they see like a rider that has crashed and is off the road in a ditch, off a cliff, etc.

Andy Schleck: As we have stated before, he really needs Conta to race the Tour to become a champion. If he snags his 1st Tour win without Pistolero in the race, it just won't be the same.  So far, it looks like he will get to line up with Contador in July.

Radioshack: Lance retired,  right after the Tour Down Under, but Shack has been getting it done without their biggest name. The Robbie's have been mixing it up in sprint finishes and proving they still have some left in the tank.  Markel Irizar won Ruta del Sol and Jesse Sergent won West Flanders, so the future looks bright for the Shack.

Cadel Evans:  Looks like he is trying the Lance approach from 99-05, trying to minimize his racing days prior to the Tour.  We actually like this move quite a bit, as it shows Cadel is not riding for 2nd place.  He is going all in for the TDF and is showing that he is not happy with a podium finish.  Defending champ Alberto Contador will do the opposite and try to race (and win) all 3 Grand Tours this season. Time will tell if Cadel is making a smart move, but we like it!

Steven Cozza: He has a fresh start with Team NetApp and is off to a solid start on the bike.  He won the Sprint and the Combined competition at Mallorca Challenge. We can't wait to see Steven on the cobbles at Roubaix! The other reason we have Steven on this list, is his work off the bike with his Race for Kids fan club.  He has a new coloring book with profits directed to help children's charities and the 2011 version of his  "Never Give up" tee that we make.  If you haven't read much about Steven or his mission check out http://www.stevencozza.com/ .




Off the back-

The Cobra's cycling career is dead, but we hope he gets help and lives a healthier life off the bike!

Ricardo "The Cobra" Ricco: The WTF moment so far of 2011! We just wished we had called one this "far out" in our blog "Dopers do suck, but they have great excuses" . Honestly, the thing that comes to mind when I think of Ricco is, when did this start?  I keep wondering if they should shift anti-doping so they are testing Juniors and U23 heavier than they do Pros. Much like AA baseball players that are trying "make it", many young cyclists are willing to take the risk of doping to get their shot.

Cav: had a rough start to the year; he found himself on the ground several times.  The shoot out Down Under with Greipel didn't actually happen.  Cav showed up a bit heavy, and his teammate Matt Goss was the bigger star during that race. The Manx missle has added Roubaix to his race calendar, and we have to say we are bit concerned about Cav on the cobbles. We fear his new grill might be in jeopardy if he ends up wheels up on the Carrefour de l'Arbre section.

LEOPARD TREK: Um...yeah, it's early, but no real headline wins for the most anticipated/hyped team in a decade. They look stylin', and are mixing it up in races, but they don't have any results to speak of.   I wonder if the O on their kits stands for 0 as in results. We have to give it to them ...SHARP kit and nice scarves!  They will win either Flanders or Roubaix and all will be right.

Taylor Phinney: It's been a rough beginning for Taylor with knee issues and a few crashes.  Still a long season ahead, but so far his young gun friends are off to a better start. No doubt he can and will pull off a result this year, he just needs some better luck.

Garmin Cervelo:  Their own riders Tweet jokes about taking Team SKY's musettes at feed zones.  They need to go to a white base instead of black or add orange back in.  They make a race finish very hard to watch.   We can't imagine how it feels to be looking to see if your rider is on your wheel only to find a SKY rider.  On their own, the kit looks great; add them in with SKY and LEOPARD and it's a mess.

PREDICTIONS:


Paris Nice: We will go with Sagan or Tejay van Garderen for the win, but don't count out Jurgen Van Den Broek

The Ronde: Top 3 in any order Fabian, Devolder, and Gilbert

Paris Roubaix: Top 3 in any order Fabian, Hushovd and Boonen


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We can fix Pro Cycling and the UCI

Every time you look at Twitter or any cycling site there is something going on with the UCI and issues in Pro Cycling.  We have a plan to fix cycling in general and we wanted to share it with you here:

 #1 Legalize Doping for one team, so they can all ride together.  Of course the team will be based out of Spain, since it is a tradition in that country to 'help" athletes perform. We propose the team wear all black and be sponsored by brands like (BP, Black Water, etc).  You might say, wait a minute, that is not good or fair.  Actually it is, as they will allowed no team cars and must use Jr. gears.  We are also considering TT bike changes (banana seats, or streamers)

We think this would be a great foundation for team "Evil"

Director: Manalo Saiz 

Team Dr/Lead Chemist: Dr. Fuentez (is he still a DR?)
Assistant chemist: Joe Papp

PR/Marketing Director: Floyd Landis

* Two teams have tried a similar set up they were known as Liberty Seguros and Rock Racing.

#2 Mario Cipollini as the UCI CZAR/CESAR:

This one move would solve so many issues.  Mario will tell riders if they are acting as if they have "both sets of genitalia". He would make sure things ran smoothly, and that rivals don't act like they are playing in a sand box (bro-hug an opponent after a stage you lose 30 seconds on GC time). Mario would also make sure that all salutes and celebrations looked Pro (No more finger guns and Andy Schleck must stop looking like he is have a seizure when he posts up)

#3 Only 1 Pro Team sponsorship per bike manufacturer.  This will allow smaller companies a chance, and keep every team from riding 1 or 2 bikes. The 7 kilo weight limit is officially lifted as well, since it makes no sense that Roy from accounting has a lighter bike for RAGBRAI than a Pro does for Alpe d' Huez.
#4 The race organizers must ride the course on a moto wearing a cycling kit and achieve the predicted speed of the peloton before they sign off on the route.  We have a feeling the Giro would have "cleaner" finishes with this process in place.

#5 Kit approval will be handled by our UCI Czar/Cesar Chipo.  He would have told Garmin and Leopard they look too close to Sky.  He would also let teams like Euskatel realize their kit makes the their riders look like they have an umpa lumpa plumber's crack. No rider will be allowed to race in "cheerleader" short socks (sorry Horner).

#6 As one of the GREATEST races on the planet, The Ronde' would be shown in the US on LIVE TV! We are fine if it is commentated in Flemish!

#7 Any network that preempts a bike race in the last 5k to cut to the beginning of a "game" or other sport is fined per minute of the race that was left.

#8 Race Radios are a hot topic, so we feel we have a fair and safe compromise.  Each rider will have a race radio, but it will only be a 1 way radio.  The messages will be updates from Bernard Hinault (driving the course in a dune buggy).  The Badger will alleviate most issues just by being a French Chuck Norris and he will keep riders aware of any other issues.

#9 Cav cam is a new concept to monitor any rider that has been having "issues".  This little camera system will be added to his bike and monitor if he is showing any wacky crash causing behaviors like he did with Haussler.  Did he spit on him after the crash?  Did he go off his line etc? Now we will know what exactly happened.

#10 No more goofy looking hats on the podium, and we don't care why you put them on the winner.  We do respect most cycling traditions, but these hats make even cool riders look like a 7 year old at Disney World.

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Floyd's next 10 Pro Cycling revelations

Paul Kimmage recently ran his exclusive interview with Floyd Landis that he attained over a beer or 12 in a log cabin.  We have a friend of a friend that split a few table dances and many a Crown and Coke with Floyd at a strip club in Bakersfield and got an exclusive for our readers.

Eki's mullet is all business in the front and not to be messed with in the back.

1. Taylor Phinney is actually the product of a DNA experiment created by Jim Ochowicz, Eddie Merckx and Lance.
2. Jonathan Vaughters did not get stung by a bee in the TDF he tried using EPO eye drops (scored through being part of a clinical trial)
3. Vince McMahon is a "silent" owner of ASO and the TDF is partially scripted. What else can explain Carlos Sastre winning the Tour?
4. Final 8 riders selected to ride the Tour with Lance had to agree to have a testicle removed. That is the real reason Tom Boonen left USPS and why Betsy Andreau is still pissed off. Lance takes that Juan Pelota shit really seriously!
5. Although he did not attend college, let alone an Ivy league school, Lance is a member of the Skulls and therefore The New World order.
6. Lance's field crossing on the Col de la Rochette was actually something US Postal practiced months ahead of time.
7. Eki once cut the hand off a Discovery team mechanic that touched his mullet.
8. Marco Pantani is actually alive and living with Tupac, Elvis and Kurt Cobain on an island near Mallorca.
9. Michael Rasmussen was so concerned with weight he had a few ribs removed like that Paul guy on the Wonder Years (aka Marilyn Manson)
10. After the 2007 Tour, Lance took Contador to a party at the Playboy Mansion.  At this party is when the Pistolero lost his virginity to Miss July.

EXCLUSIVE: Contador talks about hair test for Clenbuterol

Today in Mallorca, Alberto Contador arrived to join his Saxo Bank-Sungard team for their training camp.  He was met at the aiport by a reporter from Rueters.  The reporter wanted to discuss recent developments with his postive test for Clenbuterol.  We have received a transcript of the impromtu press conference:
Reporter:  "Alberto are you aware that Detlef Thieme, director of Germany's WADA-accredited lab in Kreischa told the AP that their is a way to check for Clenbuterol in hair samples?"

Contador (In English) "I did not hear about a hair test in my race radio, it was not working correctly." "I did not see this Detlef have an issue as I was attacking all out."

Reporter: "Alberto this news came out today not during a race." "Were you aware of this test?  Is that the reason for your hair cut?"

Contador (fading to Spanglish) "Test, I'm not sure of a test...umm..my hair cut corte de pelo? Bjarne told me to umm...No Se?"
Contador's handler steps in to explain. "Alberto was visisted by the Director of the Vuelta who was traveling with his personal barber.  He offered his services to Alberto and he accepted."  "Next question?"

Reporter "This seems odd, that you shaved your head on the day the news of this test came out. Are you sure you did not do this to prevent further testing?"
Contador's handler. "Alberto did nothing wrong in this matter and has always liked the looks of Levi Leipheimer even if he has never respected him as a cyclist"

Contador whispers in his handler's ear...

Contador's handler "He means he likes the style of Levi's head but not in a Ricky Martin way, not there is anything wrong with that way."

Contador walks off saying "No Mas..O me da mi pistola"