EXCLUSIVE: Contador talks about hair test for Clenbuterol

Today in Mallorca, Alberto Contador arrived to join his Saxo Bank-Sungard team for their training camp.  He was met at the aiport by a reporter from Rueters.  The reporter wanted to discuss recent developments with his postive test for Clenbuterol.  We have received a transcript of the impromtu press conference:
Reporter:  "Alberto are you aware that Detlef Thieme, director of Germany's WADA-accredited lab in Kreischa told the AP that their is a way to check for Clenbuterol in hair samples?"

Contador (In English) "I did not hear about a hair test in my race radio, it was not working correctly." "I did not see this Detlef have an issue as I was attacking all out."

Reporter: "Alberto this news came out today not during a race." "Were you aware of this test?  Is that the reason for your hair cut?"

Contador (fading to Spanglish) "Test, I'm not sure of a test...umm..my hair cut corte de pelo? Bjarne told me to umm...No Se?"
Contador's handler steps in to explain. "Alberto was visisted by the Director of the Vuelta who was traveling with his personal barber.  He offered his services to Alberto and he accepted."  "Next question?"

Reporter "This seems odd, that you shaved your head on the day the news of this test came out. Are you sure you did not do this to prevent further testing?"
Contador's handler. "Alberto did nothing wrong in this matter and has always liked the looks of Levi Leipheimer even if he has never respected him as a cyclist"

Contador whispers in his handler's ear...

Contador's handler "He means he likes the style of Levi's head but not in a Ricky Martin way, not there is anything wrong with that way."

Contador walks off saying "No Mas..O me da mi pistola"

Dopers do suck, but they have great excuses!

I consider myself an optimistic realist; I hope we go all year with no doping scandals but that probably won't happen.  I wanted to do my part to help out the UCI ahead of the season.   After 2010 where the yellow jersey was involved in "where's the beef" gate, anything could be used as an excuse this year. So here are some of the possible excuses for a doping positive this year.

North American rider excuses:

• "Im not sure what happened, I went to an Native American spiritual ceremony while training in (Arizona, New Mexico, etc) and must have taken something during my spirit walk"
• "I stopped through Las Vegas on the way to the Tour of California and I spent some time at the (fill in the blank) strip club.  I must have gotten trace amounts or something from kissing the girl I was with" 
• "I took Xtreme Burn Fuel/Muscle Mass Machine 7/etc.  supplement I got at GNC."
• "I don't know what it was?  It came with Floyd's old BMC I got at a garage sale for $5.  Thought I would try it since it worked for him"
• "I drank a large amount of Mountain Dew/Wild Turkey/Red Bull/OJ after the stage, maybe that was it"

Western EU Pros (Mostly Spanish) excuses:

• "I was the only one that had the a Unicorn paella at our training camp in Majorca, it must have been tainted" 
• "DR. FUENTEZ"
• "I had a root canal that had complications, and I required a transfusion"
• "I slept with Ricardo Ricco's ex and I must have had a contact positive"
• "I know my name and mother's maiden name and passport number are on the blood bag you found but, I am innocent  (aka Spanish) so I will allow myself to keep racing"
• "I shook Valverde's hand when I saw him at a cafe."
• "I was at a David Hasselhoff  concert with one of my German teammates.  He said to try this since the Germans always make good stuff." 
• "Is it possible to get anything from dolphins that might affect the test? I swam with them a lot in the off seasons"

We want a clean sport as much as anyone, but we know that positive tests are inevitable.  We are hoping for the best, but expecting the worst excuses!

Contafecta?

My gut reaction to Contador's statement that he would attempt to win all 3 Grand Tours in a year was to mutter...Bullshiiitttt! Then I started thinking about his Grand Tour wins; my perception was that other than the 2009 Tour they were all VERY close (including his 1st Tour when the Chicken got pulled while leading by by 3:10).  I did a bit of research and here is what I found:

2007 Tour de France margin of victory 23" over Cadel Evans

2008 Giro margin of victory 1'57" over Ricardo Ricco'

2008 Vuelta margin of vistory 46" over Levi Leipheimer

2009 Tour de France  margin of victory 4'11" over Andy Schleck

2010 Tour de France margin of victory  31" over Andy Schleck

Not really sure why he would attempt to win all 3 Tours rather than focus on winning by say more than 30 seconds.  With his "Stomach Full of Anger" I am sure Andy will be focused on the Tour, and now Basso will make the Tour his main goal.  What is Pistolero thinking trying to win the Giro..recover...win the Tour...recover and then win the Vuelta?  I'm not sure what his training plan will be or what his new director, Mr. 60 has up his sleeve, but I am concerned it may not be exactly "legal".

It appears that they are using some kind of crazy science experiments on one of Conta's entourage.  Look closely at this photo the poor man now has 2 sets of eyes on top of his head...what was the goal a 3rd lung? a 2nd heart?  Pretty scary stuff!