Thursday, February 24, 2011

White FUCANCER kit pre-order

Our 3rd FUCANCER kit is designed and ready for production.  We have 2 options, the Belgian blue or White for our summer/warm weather version of the FUCANCER kit.  We plan to produce the one with the most pre-orders. We also ugraded the chamois to the endurance chamois.
Our PRE-ORDER SPECIAL is $185 if you order the entire kit. $80 for the jersey by itself. (We will be selling it on the site for $90 for the jersey and $125 for the bibs) On the site we will be selling club cut jerseys only.

* We will donate $3 per item (jersey or short) to LIVESTRONG
On this pre-order we will offer race or club cut. The kit is made by Champion Systems (their club cut is a slim club cut)
Please let us know if you would like to order by 3/1/11 (email us at
Take Care,
Hbstache crew

Sunday, February 20, 2011

We can fix Pro Cycling and the UCI

Every time you look at Twitter or any cycling site there is something going on with the UCI and issues in Pro Cycling.  We have a plan to fix cycling in general and we wanted to share it with you here:

 #1 Legalize Doping for one team, so they can all ride together.  Of course the team will be based out of Spain, since it is a tradition in that country to 'help" athletes perform. We propose the team wear all black and be sponsored by brands like (BP, Black Water, etc).  You might say, wait a minute, that is not good or fair.  Actually it is, as they will allowed no team cars and must use Jr. gears.  We are also considering TT bike changes (banana seats, or streamers)

We think this would be a great foundation for team "Evil"
Director: Manalo Saiz 
Team Dr/Lead Chemist: Dr. Fuentez (is he still a DR?)
Assistant chemist: Joe Papp
PR/Marketing Director: Floyd Landis

* Two teams have tried a similar set up they were known as Liberty Seguros and Rock Racing.

#2 Mario Cipollini as the UCI CZAR/CESAR:
This one move would solve so many issues.  Mario will tell riders if they are acting as if they have "both sets of genitalia". He would make sure things ran smoothly, and that rivals don't act like they are playing in a sand box (bro-hug an opponent after a stage you lose 30 seconds on GC time). Mario would also make sure that all salutes and celebrations looked Pro (No more finger guns and Andy Schleck must stop looking like he is have a seizure when he posts up)

#3 Only 1 Pro Team sponsorship per bike manufacturer.  This will allow smaller companies a chance, and keep every team from riding 1 or 2 bikes. The 7 kilo weight limit is officially lifted as well, since it makes no sense that Roy from accounting has a lighter bike for RAGBRAI than a Pro does for Alpe d' Huez.
#4 The race organizers must ride the course on a moto wearing a cycling kit and achieve the predicted speed of the peloton before they sign off on the route.  We have a feeling the Giro would have "cleaner" finishes with this process in place.

#5 Kit approval will be handled by our UCI Czar/Cesar Chipo.  He would have told Garmin and Leopard they look too close to Sky.  He would also let teams like Euskatel realize their kit makes the their riders look like they have an umpa lumpa plumber's crack. No rider will be allowed to race in "cheerleader" short socks (sorry Horner).

#6 As one of the GREATEST races on the planet, The Ronde' would be shown in the US on LIVE TV! We are fine if it is commentated in Flemish!

#7 Any network that preempts a bike race in the last 5k to cut to the beginning of a "game" or other sport is fined per minute of the race that was left.

#8 Race Radios are a hot topic, so we feel we have a fair and safe compromise.  Each rider will have a race radio, but it will only be a 1 way radio.  The messages will be updates from Bernard Hinault (driving the course in a dune buggy).  The Badger will alleviate most issues just by being a French Chuck Norris and he will keep riders aware of any other issues.

#9 Cav cam is a new concept to monitor any rider that has been having "issues".  This little camera system will be added to his bike and monitor if he is showing any wacky crash causing behaviors like he did with Haussler.  Did he spit on him after the crash?  Did he go off his line etc? Now we will know what exactly happened.

#10 No more goofy looking hats on the podium, and we don't care why you put them on the winner.  We do respect most cycling traditions, but these hats make even cool riders look like a 7 year old at Disney World.

Thanks for reading.  Check out or cycling tees at 

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Our 3rd FUCANCER kit is designed and ready for production.  We hope you like the changes; the Belgian blue kit is always our favorite kit at the Worlds.  We also ugraded the chamois to the endurance chamois.
Our PRE-ORDER SPECIAL is $185 if you order the entire kit. (We will be selling it on the site for $90 for the jersey and $125 for the bibs) On the site we will be selling club cut jerseys only.

* We will donate $3 per item (jersey or short) to LIVESTRONG
On this pre-order we will offer race or club cut. The kit is made by Champion Systems (their club cut is a slim club cut)
Please let us know if you would like to order by 2/25/11 (email us at
Take Care,
Hbstache crew

Monday, February 14, 2011

Sometime I Ride to Remember part 2

The idea of the shirt Sometimes I Ride to Remember...Sometimes I Ride to Forget was that it can mean anything you need it to mean.  For us, we look at it as a way to celebrate the memories we shared with anyone or anything we love.  We also look at it as a way to express that you can push pain and loss out through the pedals of a bike.

Last night we said goodbye to our oldest dog, Lucky.  He had been been fighting brain cancer for 2 years, and had started to lose his quality of life.  Cancer is a bastard and has taken another life that meant so much to us.  What cancer can not take away is the good times, the memories and the spirits of those we love.  Lucky lived 2 years longer than expected and was still the fussy little Belgian dog we loved.  There will be days when I will go out for a ride to Remember the 14 years of good times I had with my little friend.

Lucky Richard 9/11/96-2/13/11

I was reflecting this morning on all the changes in my life since I got Lucky.  I have grown so much as a person and he was there the whole time.  When I got Lucky I was 21 years old and had just moved to Memphis.  I was in a relationship I should not have been in, had friends I should not have had, I ate like a typical American, raced cars not bikes, was all about making money and not the quality of my life, charities never crossed my mind and I did almost no exercise.

A lot has changed now. I have an amazing wife and step-son, we have have 5 other dogs and 2 cats and have fostered out 15 others, charity is now a focus in my life, we are vegan, own our own company, I now look at quality of my work/life versus just the money to made, we live in our favorite city in the country (Boulder, CO), I race bikes not cars, and I am in the best shape of my life.  The 35 year old me would wipe the floor with the 21 year old me.

Lucky was there for huge changes in my life, and the entire time he was the same fiesty little man that was always ready to get his love on and always looking for any snack that might come his way.  Thanks for all the memories and all the love you gave us.  You were a gift to our family and you will always be remembered!


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Steven Cozza Q & A

A new year, a new team and a new opportunity for Steven Cozza.  After many years with Garmin, Steven has moved to Team NetApp for the 2011 racing season.  We recently got the chance to ask Steven a few questions about racing, life, and giving back.  Check out our interview below:
Giving Back:

1. What was the first charity or cause that called you to get involved?
It wasn't one thing that called me to get involved.  My parents raised me in believing how important it is to not just think of ourselves but others as well especially those in need of help.

2. Where did the idea for Race for Kids come from?
After traveling and racing all over the world being cheered on by so many kids on the side of the road, I decided I wanted to give back to them. I believe that every kid deserves a fair chance in this world, so I want to do all I can to help as many kids as possible live a better life.

3. What has been the best/most touching moment so far with Race for Kids?
Meeting my 3 year old friend, Aaron Phelps, who is currently living with SMA. Attached is a photo of Aaron. Also, my dad has some photos of me and him together.


1. Most kids dream of being a Pro athlete, but when did you realize you had a gift on the bike?
I never realized I had a gift on the bike and I still don't know if I do, but that doesn't matter to me. Its what I want to do. I have set goals for myself and all my life I have worked my butt of to achieve my goals.  First it was getting through school and now its pursuing my dreams in cycling. Next? That's top secret.  Your will is your greatest tool for reaching your goals in life.
2. You have some different feelings about race radio from many of your peers; can you share you views on the topic?I personally don't mind if we race with or without a radio. To me, its not the end of the world.  I think it has turned more into a power struggle between the UCI and the riders. It's too bad it has to be a child/parent kind of relationship because most the racers I've spoken with in the peloton actually say they are more happy racing without radios. For me, I can focus more, get in the zone and have less distractions without a radio. The radios have never helped keep me safe, nor have they helped me tactically. Why don't we ask Eddy Merckx and racers of the past how it was racing without radios?  I'm sure they will have no complaints what so ever.
3. If you could win just one these races which would you choose The Ronde', Roubaix, or a Grand Tour Stage?Any of them would put a smile on my face.
4. Most fans know you as a Classics guy, but you have strong TT back ground.  It's been a while since you got to go all out in TT; are you looking froward to this part of your new role?
Ya I was really great in the TTs up until 2009.  I look forward to pushing the limits again this year.

5.  Any funny stories of being on a European based team that you can share with us?Yes plenty of funny stories. I am rooming with my Spanish teammate Jesus Del Nero at the Mallorca Challenge. Every day is bike racing as well as Spanish and English lessons. It is so funny trying to communicate with him. It is like we are both 2 year olds trying to get our points across with hand gestures and Spanglish.

6. Who are you BFFs in the Pro Peloton?
I don't have any BFFs haha. I thought that was a Paris Hilton thing.

7. We gotta ask, are we gonna see the stache this year?

8. Who were the riders that influenced you as you studied Pro Cycling?
No one.

9. We know all Pro's are tough, but besides the obvious (Jens Voigt) who are hardest of hard men in the current peloton?
Dan Martin the little Irish Man is.

10. Any races you haven't gotten to ride in that are on your cycling bucket list?
The TDF of course.


1.  How does one meet and go out with a Podium girl?You should start off with looking like a mechanic. When Jen (my fiancee) and I met, she figured I was a mechanic because of the mustache. And then you got to shock her by getting on the podium. I passed her a note on the stage at sign-in the day after I accepted the Best Young Rider jersey at the Tour of Missouri. We kept in touch after I flew back to Europe and the rest is history.

2.  Tell us about your upcoming charity ride.
Its called the Giro Bello Classic and 100% of the money goes to two very important charities that I have chosen. One is for Myeloma and Blood Cancer research and the other is to eradicate the Polio disease in poor parts of the world.  Limited to 500 entrants and filling up fast. Check out.

3.  We know you are an outdoors enthusiast - If there was a Survivor season for Pro cyclists, what special skills would help you win?
Me being an Eagle scout would help me along with my insane will to survive any situation or challenge and to never give up.

4.  You have been to Everest base camp, how did that come about?  Any plans on climbing Everest when you retire?
I have always loved hiking. Everest is the mother of all mountains, so just going to base camp at 18,500 feet was incredible. I hope to go back one day with Jen and hike the Annapurna circuit.

5.  Obviously not a pressing issue, but after you retire from cycling, what are your career/life plans?
Top secret.

6. Outside of politics and religion we feel this is one of the more polarizing questions we can ask: The band Cold Play good or evil? 
Ha Cold Play. Terrible. Can't stand their music one bit.

7. If you could go to dinner/have a drink with 5 living people who would they be?
Ali, the other four would be homeless people that I'd treat to dinner.

You can purchase the 2011 Steven Cozza "Never Give Up!"  tee at $2 from each tee sold goes to Race For Kids

USE PROMO CODE: STACHELOVE thru V-day to get 14% off all Tees!

Monday, February 7, 2011

PRO CYCLING 2011 WORST and Most Improved kits

Last year, Footon Servetto ran away with the FUGLY kit award with their safari inspired khaki number. We thought they would be a contender again this year.  Would they recruit fashionista rebel Bjork's help to develop a kit made of monkey fur or duck feathers? We have to say we are impressed with their turn around for 2011; the new Geox-TMC kit (formerly Footon) is actually okay.  We are not really sure about the shoe image "breaking wind", but the colors are much improved.

Our winner this year for most heinous kit is.... Lampre!  The best part of this kit is the fact that the very LOUD pink is not even the sponsor's corporate colors.  The last few years, they kept the pink to a highlight; now it is the main focus!

We believe the Acqua Sapone rider is saying "Damn, I got beat by Malibu Barbie!"

In the past we have questioned some of the team strategies of Lampre, but this year's kit really leaves us scratching our heads. We hear "Barbie Girl" play in our heads whenever we see images of this year's team.

We just hope no photos like this will be taken this year or EVER again!

That poor poor Wilier!
Thanks for reading come see our Tees @

Friday, February 4, 2011

SHUT UP LEGS! Trainer fuel!

It's that time of year (snow or - teen temps or both) where most of us will be seeking something to watch to get us inspired to get on the "road to nowhere".  We never support the Old Guys that get fat in the winter concept, as this keeps one from looking PRO, which is a HELL NO!  

So tell your Legs to SHUT UP and get some work done!

If you need this tee for post ride (please don't go Floyd and wear it with lycra shorts while riding), you can pick it up on our site at

  Here are a few of our favorites, hope they inspire and lead to much sweating while wearing your mis-matched worn out kit from 2004.

2008 Ronde Van Vlaanderen

Greatest Cyclists of All Time (Top Ten)


The full version of Standing Start-UK can be found @

Hope you enjoy your TRAINER ride! Come see us at 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Floyd's next 10 Pro Cycling revelations

Paul Kimmage recently ran his exclusive interview with Floyd Landis that he attained over a beer or 12 in a log cabin.  We have a friend of a friend that split a few table dances and many a Crown and Coke with Floyd at a strip club in Bakersfield and got an exclusive for our readers.
Eki's mullet is all business in the front and not to be messed with in the back.
1. Taylor Phinney is actually the product of a DNA experiment created by Jim Ochowicz, Eddie Merckx and Lance.
2. Jonathan Vaughters did not get stung by a bee in the TDF he tried using EPO eye drops (scored through being part of a clinical trial)
3. Vince McMahon is a "silent" owner of ASO and the TDF is partially scripted. What else can explain Carlos Sastre winning the Tour?
4. Final 8 riders selected to ride the Tour with Lance had to agree to have a testicle removed. That is the real reason Tom Boonen left USPS and why Betsy Andreau is still pissed off. Lance takes that Juan Pelota shit really seriously!
5. Although he did not attend college, let alone an Ivy league school, Lance is a member of the Skulls and therefore The New World order.
6. Lance's field crossing on the Col de la Rochette was actually something US Postal practiced months ahead of time.
7. Eki once cut the hand off a Discovery team mechanic that touched his mullet.
8. Marco Pantani is actually alive and living with Tupac, Elvis and Kurt Cobain on an island near Mallorca.
9. Michael Rasmussen was so concerned with weight he had a few ribs removed like that Paul guy on the Wonder Years (aka Marilyn Manson)
10. After the 2007 Tour, Lance took Contador to a party at the Playboy Mansion.  At this party is when the Pistolero lost his virginity to Miss July.