What the stars of Pro Cycling are think about 2012

The dust has finally settled for the big teams and big names (except for the foot gas/dust for Geox as pictured on their jersey).  I think we might have a pretty good idea what they are thinking about 2012.  So here is our take on the things running through their head.

Cadel Evans:

-I won the Tour and now I have less riders to defend me?
-Gilbert & Thor are kidding me?
-So is Thor gonna look for the green jersey and go on all day break aways?  Is Phillipe gonna try to win every race again?
-This is GREAT...I am gonna rip someone's head off this year!
-DO NOT STEP ON MY DOGGIE!!!!!!
-Hey Contador how did that Tour treat you, mate?

Alberto Contador:

-Wow!  I love Under 17 World Cup soccer now!  So glad they all tested positive for eating bad meat.
-Having the Schlecks working with Johan is a interesting, but unless he has Lance sneak into the start house for them,  they still suck on a TT bike.
-Bjarne GO GET COBO or MENCHOV or both!!!
- It was the bad meat!
- Pistols are so cool! Finger Bang!
- I will have the chicken
- I am clean...I am clean....I am clean...
- I am the best!

Andy Schleck:

-I hope I still get to race every race with Frank.
-I really want to win the Tour or get 2nd as long as Frank is on the podium with me.
-I hope Johan is not like Bjarne - yelling at me and telling what to do & how to win.
-Next year's Tour route sucks! Too much time on that weird bike with the disc wheel.

Frank Schleck:

-I hope I still get to race every race with Andy.

-I really want to see Andy win the Tour or get 2nd as long as I am on the podium with him.

-I hope Johan is not like Bjarne - yelling at me and telling what to do & how to win.

-Next year's Tour route sucks! Too much time on that weird bike with the odd handlebars.

Phillipe Gilbert:

-I look good, the bike will look good & I will win every race I enter.

-Cadel & Thor? What about them?  

Thor:

I DEMAND RESPECT! 

I HATE JV!

Johan Bruyneel:

-FABIAN....FABIAN....F*CKING FABIAN!  YES, I CAN NOW WIN ROUBAIX!

-The Schlecks need to HTFU 

-Frank & Andy should get really used to being seperated.

-I will take so many leaders to the TDF that we can crash everyday and still be on the podium!

-We might as well win!

Bjarne Riis:

-I have Contador...

-I will steal some more races like the Ronde.....Muuuumuuuuhhhaaaa

-The Schlecks are soft

-Contador is on my team

-This bad meat excuse is actually gonna work...that was a close call!

-I hate Johan & his "super team" 

-Alberto Effin Contador rides for me!

-I am the best DS ever....I won the Tour with Sastre...WHO?  Yes, Sastre!

-You can't win Roubaix on a Trek so Fabian is screwed!

Juan Jose' Cobo:

-Maybe I should not have been smiling on the Angliru?  Was that a bit much considering my past and poor season so far?  Think that had something to do with Geox folding?

-I kinda liked the shoe farting on the front of our jersey!

Wiggins:

-What the F*ck this some bloddy bull shit Cavendish on my team...WHAT THE HELL?

CAV REALLY?  

-How am I gonna win the Tour with that little hobbit trying to win the green jersey?  

-F*******CCKKKK!!!!

-Does anyone have any taller socks? I want to take it up to my knee cap for 2012.

-Cav...SHIIIITTTT!!!!!!  

Jonathan Vaughters:

- How do my sideburns look?

- I hate Johan

- I am the smartest person ever in or around cycling

- How does my shirt look?

- I hate Lance?

- Anything we do at Garmin is better

- I miss Wiggo

- How do my trousers look?

- Bradley come back 

- I hate the UCI

- How do my loafers look?

Mark Cavendish:

- I am the fastest man in the world!

- I feel like I might cry

- The difference between myself and Wiggo is that I win, he just talks about how he might win.

- Sky is MY new team!

- I am feeling like I might shed a tear

- I am so bloody fast on my bike!

2012 should be an epic & entertaining year in Pro Cycling!

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* We now Ship Internationally! 

NEW FUCANCER kit PRE-ORDER

THE NEW FUCANCER Pre-order pricing runs 10/2 - 10/10 

The Belgian National team's blue kit has always been my favorite kit at  Worlds. 

We love our all black FUCANCER kit with the belgian colored stripes, but it could get a bit hot on your back on sunny rides. So we added a touch of the Belgian team blue (with a subtle FUCANCER print) on one sleeve and across the back and on the bibs. We feel this kit looks sharp and is ready to be worn any time of the year.

Our PRE-ORDER SPECIAL is $80 for the jersey $100 for the bibs. ( Regular price will be $90 for the jersey and $125 for the bibs) 

* We will donate $3 per item (jersey or short) to LIVESTRONG.

On this pre-order we will offer race or "sport" club cut in men's and women's. http://www.hbstache.com/SearchResults.asp?Cat=64

We are proud to announce we are now working with bpc Performance Apparel for our technical apparel.  Here is their size chart.

Take Care,

Hbstache crew

THE SCHLECKnd TEE PRE-ORDER

Andy has started to carve out a place for himself on the podium at Grand Tours.  It's not the top step yet, so we thought we would have some fun with it. 


 We are doing a PRE-ORDER 9/19-9/30 on our new SCHLECKnd TEE $23  ($1 donated per tee to Best Friends Animal Society) available in men's and women's on athletic gray. Purchase Men's or Women's.

WE NOW SHIP TO ( The UK, Canada, Australia, Belgium and France)

Get yours during the pre-order as we might make this one a limited edition!

*A sense of humor required to place an order!  

We have had some fun writing about FRAndy this year click to catch up on past blogs!

Interbike MUSTACHE CONTEST!

Our friend @SDvelosocial had a great idea while visiting our booth at Interbike.  We should have a Mustache Contest for those attending Interbike.  So here you go!  We have the photo's numbered and the voting is on the right side.  Fire away!  Best Stache a prize!

STACHE #1

STACHE #2

STACHE #3

STACHE #4

STACHE #5

STACHE #6

STACHE #7


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Cycling Wiki Leaks: RadioShack Nissan Trek Memo to FRANDY

We received this memo via our Euro spy/fan.  This is the same the man that sent us the LEOPARD TREK Hotel memo so we feel he is legit.*




Dear Frank and Andy,


I am very pleased that you will both be riding on my new team.  I wanted to address a few things right away so we get off on the right foot. The goal of this team is to WIN races, we view 2nd and 3rd place as the 1st and 2nd losers. Here are a few new team rules that will go into place at the end of the 2011 season.

1. Ride together all you want in the off season, because next year you will NEVER be in the same race.  I will not have either one of you looking around for the other one. Frank you should study up on Italy and Spain.  Andy focus on France!  During Grand tours, you are not allowed to call, Skype, or send pictures to each other. 

2. We will be repossessing all but one of your bikes for the first 3 months of the off season.  The only one we are leaving you is a Time Trial bike. You might remember that bike is the one with the funny looking bars that makes the "swoosh swoosh" noise when you ride it. LEARN to ride it and get faster on it! You look like two monkeys humping a futball when you ride a TT. We will fix this!

3.  Andy this one is directed at you: We will have a bonfire at our training camp; bring every picture/note/piece of Best Friend stuff you have from your relationship with Alberto. To be honest, he thinks you're a fool and he makes fun of you every chance he gets.  He actually  referred to you as "mi perra" over race radio. (Google it - it's not kind.)

4.  If you are going to do your "traditional" off season dolphin swims, make sure there is no one there to take pictures. Swimming with a porpous is completely emaskulating. Grow 2 pairs and swim with sharks if you need to get closer to nature. Don't say a word about Boonen swimming with the dolphins; he pulls more girls than most rock stars and wins cobbled classic races.

5. Scarves...lose them, ALL of them!

6.  Andy this is another one for you - if you win a stage you are never allowed to "post up." It looks as though you are having a seizure and we can't use the pictures for any PR purposes.  

7.  We will have an in-depth class for both of you about social media and the topic of WINNING!  I never want to see another Tweet like "We are ____ (fill in with words like happy, satisfied, content) to get 2nd and 3rd at ____ (fill in race/stage Amstel, the TDF, etc.) 

8. Only one of you can ride in the Luxembourg championship races.  You can decide between the two of you, but trying to figure out which one of you has those jerseys gives me a headache. Plus, there are only like 5 riders from your country so it doesn't matter much anyway; it's not like you're Belgian!

9.  Yes, you will be riding SRAM again.  Get over it; our mechanics know WTF they are doing and you will be fine.

10.Please try to pay attention when training.  No music, texting, or no handed riding. I don't want to see pictures of your skinny bodies all bloody and damaged. You two look like you escaped from a prison camp half the off season.


PS: Find out when and where Johhny Hoogerland trains and ride with him!




Kindest regards,
JB


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*We can not promise this is an actual memo from Johan, but it could/should be.

The LEAST interesting cyclist in the world

I saw that Carlos Sastre is in the break at the Vuelta today and I start thinking about how this made me feel...to be honest I felt like I just took a sedetive.  I am sure Carlos is a nice enough guy, but he is also the most boring rider in the peloton.  He is the the opposite of this man:

"When I am lying in bed with 3 women and must finally fall asleep, I watch the 08 TDF. I am out like a like in 10 min."

I'm not sure why his attacks look like they are in slow motion? I'm also not quite sure why he Phil & Paul refer to him as a "climber" when he get dropped as soon as the road tips up? Carlos is pretty much the San Antonio Spurs of cycling (with less hardware).  Just for fun ask people who won the 2008 TDF then just watch them?  They will pause, then realize that wasn't the one Floyd won/got stripped of, Must be Contador...no wait he didn't race....ummm...Sastre? Still not sure what kind of pictures/info he had on Riis, that allowed him to win the TDF?

I think some time riding with Rock Racing would have done Carlos some big favors and loosened him up a bit. Cipo could have mentored him on having a bit of panache.  At this point even if he tried this trick, I am afraid I might not be able to watch it for more than 3k.

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USA PRO CYCLING Challenge needs some fixing

Photo courtesy of Gary Bradler

I had planned on attending 3 stages of the USA Pro Cycling Challenge presented by Millennium Promise.  Yes, I refer to it by it's proper name every time I say it, don't you?  I ended up attending only 1 stage instead.  Vail was great - TDF caliber riders, TDF quality backdrop, without the TDF traffic nightmare. So why did I not go to the stages on Saturday or Sunday as planned?  I looked at the route again, and realized the race was all but over after the TT.  Since there are no summit finishes, unless Levi hit an elk on the descent, it was going to be another bunch/sprint finish.  At this point, I have to admit I have been to some big races, including the TDF 4 times.  I guess I am a bit of a race snob, but if I had to decide between riding myself and watching sprinters not named Cavendish or Farrar duke it out, I will pass.  I had considered going to watch the climb on Lookout, but with 60 miles still to go after the climb, it didn't really matter what happened on that climb.

A buddy of mine form Chicago, who is new to the sport, texted wondering if I was at the race today.  I confessed that I was out riding instead.  "What's up?  Why didn't you go?"  So in lengthy texts I had to explain that this race route was really decided by dollars.  I get that the goal is to make money, but I question the short and long term money motivation.  Fans in CO love cycling, it's a beautiful state, etc, but, that doesn't secure long term sponsors and the big money.  Each start/finish town had to pony up $250,000 to host a stage, so you had towns like Durango and Boulder that wouldn't or couldn't front the cash so they were skipped completely on the route.  The $ provided by the sponsor towns is small money compared to big corporate dollars that could follow if you created an amazing and very challenging race.  What we got instead of Alpe d' Huez style finishes is a series of Milan San Remo type stages where the GC race was decided 1/2 way through the race.

What went right with the USA Pro Cycling Challenge?

The fans: They were amazing at this race.  Colorado loves cycling and the fans were passionate and loud. They filled the roads near the top of each climb and in every start and finish town.

The GC field:  You really could not have asked for better GC contenders for a race during it's first edition.  Cadel, Basso, the Schlecks and Levi.

The back drop:  Colorado is one of the most beautiful states, and offers a variety of terrain from desert, red rocks, pine forest, and rocky climbs.

The vibe from Fans and Media:  Those in and around the race have been very positive about this event and the turnout.

What needs to fixed:

The route:  I will give it to the ATOC, Tour of Utah and even the Tour de Georgia they used their terrain to make their race difficult and decisive.  The Tour of Missouri did not have that option, since there were no real long climbs to get into play.  Here in CO, we have plenty of climbs, many of which can be used but were not.  This race was decided on Thursday, yet did not officially end until Sunday.

The field:  If you insist on having a route that allows that many bunch/sprint finishes, then invite riders like Thor, Fabian, Cav, Gilbert and Boonen - at least make it interesting.  With all due respect to Elia Viviani, he is not exactly a household name. As I review this week, one of Thor's TDF style attacks could have won this race.

SUMMIT FINISH:  Let's be honest; that is what makes stage races famous and what shakes up GC!  Alpe d' Huez, Mont Ventoux, Zoncolan, Anglirue, Mt. Baldy, and Brasstown Bald.  You need summit finishes to make your stage race interesting and must see TV.  The USA Pro was more like a series of high altitude Milan San Remos with a few TT's thrown in (1 that was downhill?!).  Don't argue logistics, as the Aglirru is more remote than the top of Super James/ Super Flag or Sunshine.

Social Media director (or even a teenage kid that LIKES/KNOWS cycling and watches the @feed on twitter):  All week long this race has been slaughtered on Twitter about mistakes and typos on their site.  The best part is they have someone tweeting about the race, but they don't read/react to their @ messages.  @Neilroad and @Dwuori pointed out every error found on their website and they still have not fixed it.  My favorite - this line in the Spidertech Team bio: The team features two top sprinters Keven Lacombe and Phillipe Gilbert, who won a stage of the 2009 Tour of Missouri. The team also features American veteran Jon Patrick McCarty, who won the 2011 Amgen Tour of California KOM jersey and up and comer Zach Bell.


If you are going to spend millions and ask start/finish towns to pay you $250,000, at the very least have a novice fan check your website.  I even heard that some of these errors made it into print that was handed out at the race. OOPS?  

Volunteers that had no clue about cycling or what they were really supposed to do:  Give me the Gendarmerie any day, since cycling fans police themselves. I had one volunteer chase me out of the inside of a corner (behind a rusty guard rail and in a group of trees) on the TT course and ask me to go across the street and stand where they might end up if they over shot the corner. When I asked her why she said, "It's a closed course."  I said you, "You know that makes no sense right?" She went back to her post to wave an orange flag. She later  came back over to say, "I really don't know, it's just what they told me."


As my wife stated when we attended the TT in Vail, if this race was an the final Challenge on the Apprentice, Trump would have fired them.  


The Final GC: When this is your final GC, in a state with so many options to make a race brutal and interesting, you have a problem.  No offense to Big George, I have met him and I enjoy him as a rider.  At 38 years old, he should NOT be in the top 5 GC for a race promoted like this: Breathtaking altitudes, treacherous climbs and 128 of the worlds best riders. It’s the most challenging race held on American soil.

• 1. Levi Leipheimer, Team RadioShack
• 2. Christian Vande Velde, Team Garmin-Cervélo, at 0:11
• 3. Tejay Van Garderen, HTC-Highroad, at 0:17
• 4. Tom Danielson, Team Garmin-Cervélo, at 0:21
• 5. George Hincapie, BMC Racing Team, at 0:53

I know the riders rode hard and fans cheered their hearts out.  I just hope the race organizers do their part so that this can become the "Most challenging race held on American soil." Otherwise, I fear it will end up like Tour of GA and Tour of MO.


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