Andy Schleck can win the 2012 TDF if....

We decided to to lay out how the Lanky Lux can win the 2012 Tour de France in response to this tweet @ us earlier today:

@hbstache He @andy_schleck is going to win the TdF this year. Even a good chance he'll win it twice... #againstallods

#1 There will need to be a massive crash crash like the one in 2003 that took out or hurt most of the GC contenders.  Andy will need to have Cadel, Conta, Basso, Wiggo and maybe even Levi hit the deck.  Team Nissan RadioSchack is researching what type of spectacles could cause this level of crash:

*Truth be told, Andy will need to have Frank  home as well; all that Schlooking around costs time and effort.

#2 Andy has to be okay with swapping bikes at the top of climbs (kind of a reverse Contador).  He might loose a bit of time putting on the armor & full face helmet but he at least he will have a fighting chance of making it down the descent in one piece.

#3 Andy will need Johan’s proposed UCI TT rule change to be approved.  The new rule would allow a teammate to ride Grand Tour TT’s for their leader.  "Hey Fabian take it a bit easy on your TT, save some for Andy’s."  When this idea was shared with Fabian, he responed in Fabanese “I am bit worried about Tony Martin, but he is busy with Chavenel’s pillow so it ok.  I ride hard for Andy!”

#4  A huge doping scandal could help his chances as well; something that will take out around a third of the field.  Think of what it would look like if 1998 met Op Puerto.  If Dr. Fuentez drove the Festina-mobile to the Saxo, BMC, & Sky team hotels with his cooler in the passenger seat. Andy is a lock for the top step (unless Frank bought "training plans" from Fuentez again)!

There is a chance Andy might end up as the  winner of the 2010 TDF if Conta gets  suspended.  But, Andy will always be SCHLECKnd to us!  

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Cycling Wiki Leaks: RadioShack Nissan Trek Memo to FRANDY

We received this memo via our Euro spy/fan.  This is the same the man that sent us the LEOPARD TREK Hotel memo so we feel he is legit.*




Dear Frank and Andy,


I am very pleased that you will both be riding on my new team.  I wanted to address a few things right away so we get off on the right foot. The goal of this team is to WIN races, we view 2nd and 3rd place as the 1st and 2nd losers. Here are a few new team rules that will go into place at the end of the 2011 season.

1. Ride together all you want in the off season, because next year you will NEVER be in the same race.  I will not have either one of you looking around for the other one. Frank you should study up on Italy and Spain.  Andy focus on France!  During Grand tours, you are not allowed to call, Skype, or send pictures to each other. 

2. We will be repossessing all but one of your bikes for the first 3 months of the off season.  The only one we are leaving you is a Time Trial bike. You might remember that bike is the one with the funny looking bars that makes the "swoosh swoosh" noise when you ride it. LEARN to ride it and get faster on it! You look like two monkeys humping a futball when you ride a TT. We will fix this!

3.  Andy this one is directed at you: We will have a bonfire at our training camp; bring every picture/note/piece of Best Friend stuff you have from your relationship with Alberto. To be honest, he thinks you're a fool and he makes fun of you every chance he gets.  He actually  referred to you as "mi perra" over race radio. (Google it - it's not kind.)

4.  If you are going to do your "traditional" off season dolphin swims, make sure there is no one there to take pictures. Swimming with a porpous is completely emaskulating. Grow 2 pairs and swim with sharks if you need to get closer to nature. Don't say a word about Boonen swimming with the dolphins; he pulls more girls than most rock stars and wins cobbled classic races.

5. Scarves...lose them, ALL of them!

6.  Andy this is another one for you - if you win a stage you are never allowed to "post up." It looks as though you are having a seizure and we can't use the pictures for any PR purposes.  

7.  We will have an in-depth class for both of you about social media and the topic of WINNING!  I never want to see another Tweet like "We are ____ (fill in with words like happy, satisfied, content) to get 2nd and 3rd at ____ (fill in race/stage Amstel, the TDF, etc.) 

8. Only one of you can ride in the Luxembourg championship races.  You can decide between the two of you, but trying to figure out which one of you has those jerseys gives me a headache. Plus, there are only like 5 riders from your country so it doesn't matter much anyway; it's not like you're Belgian!

9.  Yes, you will be riding SRAM again.  Get over it; our mechanics know WTF they are doing and you will be fine.

10.Please try to pay attention when training.  No music, texting, or no handed riding. I don't want to see pictures of your skinny bodies all bloody and damaged. You two look like you escaped from a prison camp half the off season.


PS: Find out when and where Johhny Hoogerland trains and ride with him!




Kindest regards,
JB


Thanks for reading! Scan this QR code for link to some cool info about our booth 1048 @ INTERBIKE and a PROMO code for you to use:

*We can not promise this is an actual memo from Johan, but it could/should be.

All Time Great Cyclists

Check out this video with a few of our favorite cyclists.  And the one that inspired this tee Angel of The Mountains.

Thanks for checking out the video.  Use PROMO CODE: TDU for 20% off www.hbstache.com

The Angel of the Mountains

We have an update to our "Angel of the Mountains" tee.  For those that are not familiar with the man that owned the nickname here is a bit of info:

Charly Gual (1932-2005)

Tour de France
General Classification 1958
King of the Mountains 1955 & 56

Giro d' Italia
General Classification 1956 & 59
King of the Mountains 1956 & 59


He earned the nickname with his high cadence climbing style and dominance in the mountains in the 50's.  He is regarded by many as one of the best climbers of all time.  Raphael Geminiani said Gaul was "A murderous climber, always the same sustained rhythm, a little machine with a lower gear than the rest, turning his legs at a speed that would break your heart, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock." The journalist Pierre About wrote that Gaul had "Irresistible sprightliness [allegresse]", that he had "The air of an angel for which nothing is difficult."



  In a fitting tribute to Charly Gaul this tee is now in true Luxembourg colors.

https://www.hbstache.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=Angel%5Fof%5FMts%2DRed