We received this memo via a fan of our tees (He is a kind man with a wonderful mustache that is a hotel employee in France). We were shocked when we read it and felt we must share this information.
REQUIREMENTS (For hotels privileged enough to host our team):
General Hotel:
- Minimum 2 Dolphins must be swimming in the pool
- Water in the hotel must be either Evian or Vittel (not in bottles; actually flowing through the pipes)
- Any statue or bust must be wearing a scarf
- Each room should have a Bjarne Riis dartboard
- At least 2 rolls of toilet paper imprinted with the Saxobank-Sungard logo (per room)
- All non-attractive or non-fashionable employees should be sent away during our stay
Fabian Cancellera
- Roman style sandals must be at his bed side upon arrival
- Gladiator and Spartacus “Blood and Sand” (Seasons 1 & 2) bluerays must be in his room. (We do not care that season 2 has not been aired yet.)
- 1 quart of Mobile 1 synthetic 5W-30 oil (do not ask questions about this)
Jens Voigt:
- A bed of nails
Andy & Frank Schleck:
- Bunk beds (Andy gets the top bunk)
- A medium sized stuffed dolphin must be placed on the pillow of top bunk
- Photo Frame saying “My Best Friend” or “BFF” with the picture of Andy and Contador we supplied should be placed on dresser.
- Two pair of red, white and light blue striped footy pajamas (size extra long and thin)
- 1 albino wallaby with leash
- 2 cases of Foster’s Australian beer/per night
- a didgeridoo player should be available upon request
Linus Gerdemann:
- A minimum of 9 mirrors in his room (So he can enjoy his own beauty)
- ShamWows instead of towels (The German’s always make good stuff)
- The entire David Hasselhoff music library on vinyl
Brice Feillu:
- A statue of Napoleon should be placed in his room (minimum 3 meters in height.)
- Each morning he wants to be awaked to the French National Anthem played by a small child with a flute (age of child may vary between 6-9 years of age)
Thanks for reading. You can go to www.hbstache.com and use PROMO CODE: TDU for 20% OFF on all our tees!
