Friday, January 14, 2011

Wiki: Genus of LEOPARD TREK

Here is the OFFICIAL communication of the Team named after a large Feline and Trek.

leopard-trek how to’s
This the email that was recently sent out by the new team leopard-trek team:
It’s been an exciting week for Trek as we announced our co-title sponsorship of LEOPARD TREK. The anticipation behind this launch is understandable, considering the fire power in the roster. There will undoubtedly be a significant portion of media coverage surrounding the team as the season kicks off next week at the Tour Down Under.
Please follow these naming standards when referring to the team in the media:
The team name is LEOPARD TREK. Please do not insert the word “Team” before LEOPARD TREK, in writing or conversation, as that is not part of the official name.
Please do not hyphenate LEOPARD TREK.
In written communication, LEOPARD TREK must be set in all caps.
In spoken communication, please use the appropriate pronunciation: LAY-oh-pard Trek.
INCORRECT: The new Team Leopard Trek includes…
CORRECT: The new LEOPARD TREK team includes…
INCORRECT: Leopard-Trek was presented to the media…
CORRECT: LEOPARD TREK was presented to the media…
INCORRECT: Trek announces sponsorship of Team LEOPARD TREK…
CORRECT: Trek announces co-title sponsorship of LEOPARD TREK…
Thanks for your help in establishing the proper team name standards. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

To be clear I wanted to give the Wiki definition of a LAY-oh-pard:
Leopard (pronounced/ LAY-oh-pard) Is from the European branch of the Panthera PetShopis Boyis, a member of the Euro Cheeky family and the smallest of the "big cats" in the genus of Panthera, the other three being the Tiger, Lion (of Flanders), and Jaguar.  The Leopard is concentrated in the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg with some spreading out as far as Germany and Spain.  

Compared to other members of the Euro Panthera Family the Leopard appears more Metro-Sexual.  It will often present wearing a scarf, very tight trousers and a blazer. This does not apply to the oldest and meanest of the Leopards, Jens Voigt who would never be caught dead in any of those items. Sounds of a pack of Leopards can be best described as the mixing of Depeche' Mode and Pet Shop Boys. 

While hunting, the Leopard will appear in a retro style black, white and minty hue of lycra.  The Swiss Leopard known for his strength and ability to go hard over long rough courses is described as having a "MOTOR" by some. He is known to rip the legs off his prey and leaves them behind to die a long painful death. The Alpha Leopard appears to be the thinnest of the herd and can be described one day as having a "Stomach Full of Anger" and the next being mounted by his prey.  We will see how the "LAY-oh-pard" pack does hunting in UCI races around the globe.  What ever you do, DO NOT PROVOKE them by mis-typing, mis-saying or even mis-thinking their name. THERE IS NO TEAM IN LEOPARD (TEAM)!

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